Fear of Failure: How It Suppresses Your Intuition, Creativity, and Prevents You From Accessing Feedback Loops that Result in Flow

Gentlemen, I've been observing my mind, my reactions, and my beliefs for years now.

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And for years, I have noticed a pattern. My ratio of implementation to knowledge has always been low.

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Basically, I know a lot of things. But I don't apply them.

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Because I don't apply them, I may not notice tangible outcomes & I therefore resort to more learning.

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A Cycle.

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Lately I've observed this a little bit closer. And with increased mindfulness, I noticed that what comes RIGHT after intuition, idea, or impulse is doubt that stops everything from flowing.

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"What if this is wrong?"

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And so the impulse/intuitive response never really comes to fruition.

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IT dies. Right then & there.

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"Hmmm, maybe I need to do more research." - mind says.

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"Hmmm, maybe you're right." - Omar responds.

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Cycle continues.

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Aside from this suppression of impulses & intuition, this seed of doubt also suppresses a feedback loop.

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A connection with the world that is based on reciprocity. Creation & destruction.

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It assumes failure before it begins and therefore, never begins.

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And because it never begins, it never gains the experience. It never gains the lesson. It never gains the feedback. It never gains the wisdom.

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And as a result, never gains the competence that comes before the confidence.

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And as a result, reinforces the belief.

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It's pretty interesting to see it all once you can see it all. It's also humorous.

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Cycle continues. Funny.

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Now the concept of flow is based in beautiful connectedness. A continuous feedback loop. A pact one makes with reality.

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But if with every intuitive impulse. With every idea. With every desire to act...doubt follows.

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One never gets to enter the feedback loop. One never gives life. And therefore never gets.

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Flow never takes place.

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And....the cycle continues.

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"Problem presented. Context established. Now what?" - asks the reader. Asks you. With curiosity.

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Now we take into consideration potential solutions.

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We could push through it. Maintain mindfulness 24/7. Treading the jungles of the mind filled with self-deception & reality molded in new forms each time.

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Attempting to decipher things every second. And we may be successful. For a while.

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But what are the odds of that working? Pure discipline until the end of time.

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Instead of uprooting the pattern & replacing it. We just control it. Or attempt to.

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Not fun. Not how I would do it.

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But if we take the Integral Path & take into consideration parts. And how the mind is fragmented into parts. How each part is a part, but also a whole...we arrive at a better solution.

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Curious inquiry. Loving kindness. A journey with the part that is "afraid".

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Until we arrive at the cause.

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Until we see the lie.

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Until we disprove it.

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Until a new belief system takes its place.

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And then.

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Cycle ends.

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Because now impulse is not followed by doubt. But rather with possibility.

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There is no naivety. No arrogance. No ignorance.

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Simple possibility. A willingness to attempt. A willing to engage with life in a game of give & take.

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An embrace of uncertainty that connects us with reality.

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A reintroduction of flow.

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And then good shit happens.

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Like...really good shit.

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And occasionally the bad shit. But then again, it's a game of give and take. A game of reciprocity.

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That's the spiel.

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Hope this helps!

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– Omar.